Finally!

Its about time! Finally, I;m starting to write again! its such a releaf to get all that stuff out on paper that has been clouding my mind for so long! AH! the sweet release of words! Its so incredible, those of you that write know what Im talking about, right?
Its the absolute best feeling, getting those words on paper, feeling all the things your characters feel, hurting when they hurt, loving what they love. You quite literally become your character and sometimes its like they are writing you instead of the other way around! I can't tell you how much of my life has changed because of the characters I've written. It's almost like they become alive and real, they aren't just characters anymore, but real people with real feelings. They become my friends, my close confidants. I can't tell you how many arguments I've had with some of my more stubborn characters over which direction the story will take. No, I'm not crazy, I just sometimes want things to go differently than the character. You'd have to be there I guess. Thanks for for reading, just wanted to tell you that I'm wrinting again.


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Interesting.....not

My life is completely and utterly non existant. I can't come up with any stories! Non of my ideas are coming out right, non of them! Argh! I am so frustrated by my complete lack of competence! Blah!
Well. at least I've got a couple of semi-ok poems lately, which is nice since I haven't written a decent poem in over a year, so thats good at least. But I just wish my stories were coming out the same way! Grrrr!
Well, thats all for now i guess, thanks for reading!





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utter frustration!

as i have been quick to point out when i started this blog, I love writing! But lately I haven't written a thing! I keep trying but no words come! Its so frustrating I swear! I just wish i knew exactly how to get the words in my head out on paper, but it seems whenever I try, it doesn't come out right. I just wish I knew whAT TO DO! Oye its so frustrating!
Ok, enough about my complaining, I'm good now, I just needed to get that out so I can concentrate. Sometimes I get so bogged down by my frustrations that they cloud my writing. Now my frustrations are out so its back to the drawing board....or in this case writing desk! HAHA! Ok, well thanks for listening to my frustrations, its nice to have someone listening...or reading as the case may be. Thanks again and enjoy your weekend.


OH, and if anyone has any writing advice I really appriciate it! Thanks!


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My Poem

This is one of the poems I wrote, I just wanted to share it with you and get your comments, hopefully you like it!

TEARS

Tears pour down my face,

I bury my face in my pillow

To hide the sound of my sobs,

My heart is broken,

Torn,

Hurt.

I hate myself for this weakness

I feel,

For crying.

I scream at God,

Who I can't see,

At God,

Who was suppose to help me.

Tears tear through my eyes,

Staining your shirtwith their wetness,

You hold me tight,

Tell me its all gonna be ok,

But I don't believe you.

You tell me that God is there,

Even though I can't see Him,

He sent you.

I look up,

You smile.

I smile,

You dry my eyes,

It's all gonna be ok,

I believe you.

-Andi

I wrote this in high school after some really awful things happened. My dad was there the entire time, comforting me and reassuring me that everything was fine. At first I didn't believe him because it didn't seem that anything was ever going to be fine again. Eventually it turned out he was right. Of course! This poem is a little tribute to him. Thanks, Dad for everything!

cleaning! EWW!

I recently started taking on the next to impossible task of cleaning my bottomless pit of a bedroom. It never seems to get any better! The more i clean the worse the mess seems to get, I just don't get it! Quite frankly, I am getting fed up with all the hard work yeilding no results.
Has this ever happened to you? If it has, please explain what i should do, because at this pont I'm thinking of just sleeping on the couch and leaving the room alone! It's impoosile to clean!
Well, the fact that I'm a very sentimental person and can't let go of anything might have something to do with it. Yes all you readers out there, I am a packrat, and I wish i wasn't.
I'm trying to get better, though. It's been tough but just this mornong, I threw away two whole bags worth of garbage, most of which was crap I had held onto for years. So there shows progress, right? Now before you get too proud of me, they were the little plastic bags you get at grocery stores. But, still, thats some progress, right?
I really would accept any advice you have to offer. And remember, if you dont let it get dirty, you won't have to clean it! HA! Right!

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Writing

I love being a writer! Well, an almost writer considering I've never been published. But I love it nonetheless. I love that when you are writing fiction, anything and everything you put on paper is right, nothing is considered wrong because its all in your head. I love how you can emmerse yourself in worlds you have only dreamed of, and you can play any part you want cause its all yours, unadulterated by anyone else. Noone can corrupt it with their own ideals or plans, its all your own, completely!

Now, as my friends and family will point out, I do go to them for advice and ideas, but, at the end of the day, its mine. Or as Gollum pointed out in the Lord of the Rings

"Its my all, my own, my Precious." Lord of the Rings

I have to say though, I think my most favorite thing about writing is the escape. The amazing feeling of release in each lovely word that exits the pen as it scratches along the paper. The pure joy that floods from your soul as you release all the inner thoughts and pains of your life. It is an amazing stress reliever and helps me deal with everything that is going on. No matter how crazy and painful life gets, I will always make time to write. Always.
It never ceases to amaze me, the effect writing has on me, I can be raging mad, sit down and write for twenty minutes, and come away perfectly at peace. I am always amazed and grateful for this. Thank God for writing, without it, life would be a bleak, grey wasteland with no fruit and no hope.

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First Chapter

Has anyone out there ever experienced the amazing feeling of accomplishing something for the first time? Its a great feeling isn't it? I absolutely love that feeling, and wish i could experience it every day. Unfortunately, thats just not possible.
Now have any of you ever failed at something? I'm sure all of us have been there too, huh? It is not a very good feeling, in fact it kinda sucks. Unfortunately, this feeling seems to happen alot more frequently. Sad how that works isn't it?
Why is that? Why is it that we seem to fail alot more than succeed?
I happen to think it's all in the attitude! Instead of counting a mistake as a failure, why don't we instead think of it as practice for the next time? Thomas Edison, when asked why he didn't give up on the light bulb after 5,000 failures, said,"I haven't failed, I now have five thousand ways how not to make a lightbulb. Now, I just need to find one way that works."

Natinal Treasure

So, instead of dwelling in our failures, lets adopt Edisons attitude and just count them as mistakes and move on.

Thanks for reading, this is perpetual_confusion, signing off